With Black Friday deals starting way before Thanksgiving nowadays, along with Small Business Saturday and Cyber Monday, you have more options than ever for shopping and finding great deals. While variety is wonderful, it can contribute to something called decision fatigue, a psychological theory that says that you get exhausted and depleted from all the choices you make each day.
From small ones like what to wear and eat, to big ones like whether to ask the boss for a promotion or what car to buy, you are constantly making decisions. Some of them might even be somewhat subconscious or automatic, like doodling during a meeting or the tone of voice you use when you say good morning.
And guess what? Your decisions get worse the more fatigued you are.
On top of that, if your decision-making style is that of a maximizer (one who tends to look at all the options and research the heck out of things to find the one with the absolute maximum benefit) as opposed to a satisficer (one who typically does some research and then selects a satisfying option), your process might be causing even more tension. Just ask my husband about how we chose the paint colors for our townhouse—he knew right away, and I looked at those paint chips for days.
So not only is there more to do in general during the holidays, your shopping list expands the number of decisions you need to make, which can create even more fatigue. When you add the strain of finding the “perfect” gift, you’ve got a recipe for stress and potentially even illness.
In fact, the last time I taught my workshop, Finding Your Holiday Self-Care Strategies, one of the biggest challenges the participants expressed experiencing during the holidays was the pressure they felt to find the perfect gifts. They wanted to make Santa look good.
One of the biggest mistakes you can make when giving a gift is tying up your worth in whether the recipient loves the item.
Don’t worry though. I’ve got a super simple yoga trick to help you with this one. No, it’s not meditating on the right decision, though that might be helpful too. It’s not hiding in avoidance in child’s pose, though this posture can be super calming and restful when you’re feeling exhausted from the shopping. It’s not throwing up your hands in despair and deciding not to give anything, though practicing mindfulness and moderation (Brahmacharya) in your spending can be super beneficial.
I’m talking about Yoga Sutra 1.12. This verse from one of the ancient yogic texts tell us that “Practice and detachment are the means of stilling the fluctuations in the consciousness.” What does this mean for holiday gift giving? It means that if you want to experience joy and peace, you put in some effort to find a present (though not to the point of exhaustion—that would be violating the principle of non-violence or Ahimsa), and then you let go of the outcome. You can spend less time agonizing over your decisions and get your holiday shopping handled.
This simple principle has really helped me on my mat (hello, Headstand), with my holiday shopping, and in the rest of my life.
Who you are—a beautiful soul—is not going to change if someone doesn’t like your gift. Whatever the outcome, you never know what good will come of it. Maybe the recipient expresses that they don’t like it and you end up having a fantastic conversation that brings you closer. Maybe the receiver gives it away to someone who really needs and will cherish it in a way your loved one never would.
As soon as you give the gift, it’s no longer yours. It belongs to the recipient, as do their reactions to it.
SPEAK YOUR TRUTH
Are you a maximizer or satisficer? What do you do to help you lessen decision fatigue at the holidays? What are your biggest challenges during this busy time of year? Let me know below in the comments!
In wellness, joy and peace,
Tami